Bought a Citroën Quasimodo, got if form Hatchbacks of Notre-Dame
Imagine my disappointment; having bought a pair of wombats I was completely unable to find a local wom league.
Went to the hospital the other day and they asked if I was squeamish… I said I’ve never even BEEN to Squeam!
Amber Rudd has won the support of Ethical Drug Dealers everywhere with her recent comments around the Government’s new drug strategy.
“Let there be no doubt: under the new strategy unscrupulous drug dealers will continue to face the full force of the law.”
This is fantastic news for families, children, and the elderly. Ensuring that our drug dealers contribute to society, rather than exploiting some of the most vulnerable.
Big Frank, a supporter of moral drug dealers everywhere had this to say:
“Yeah mate, I’m shocked by some of way some of these dealers operate. Going into the homes of the elderly and refusing to leave until they agree to buy £200 worth of smack”
“… Worse that that the then sting them an extra tenner for the cooker…”
Frank went on to say that he thought Amber Rudd was “bang on” with her proposal and hoped that in the future all dealers would hold similar principles
“I always supply all the works with the gear I sell, only send the boys round if you owe more than a monkey, and have a strict rule of never selling to the under 12’s”
Motivation: desire or willingness to cut your lawn
“Can I just ask you a question before we execute you?”
“Sure, fire away…”
I’ve just designed a new typeface called Erudite, it’s the font of all knowledge.
I bought a whodunit DVD from eBay, unfortunately when I got it the case was cracked…
I was driving home last night when I passed a Pet Ambulance. I thought, what a weird thing to keep as a pet…
“Hi I’m the new hangman… I was told if I came here someone would show me the ropes”
Nitwittedness 